Some musings and a book recommendation.

I wish I had taken more pictures.

This is a common regret in my life, mostly because I tend to forget to bring my camera and, even when I do, I hate to ruin a moment or miss seeing anything because I am looking through a narrow lens. I admire those who are able to strike a balance between photographer and participant.

It is not so much that I wish I had the pictures to help me remember, because I find that those beautiful moments are like a CD on repeat in my heart. The problem is that I sometimes forget places and people, but never the feelings involved. That makes it hard to tell the stories. I am putting together a presentation for IHC's annual Ash Wednesday Retreat Day. I was invited mostly for my involvement at the Inn, so that is what I am trying to focus my presentation on. I was going through my old pictures from the year, though, and very few of them are applicable. There are many, many pictures of Maureen, Katelyn, and I being ridiculous; there are none of my day-to-day activities. There are no pictures of bread-bagging or soup-stirring or bathroom-cleaning, but there is one of me poking my head out of the top of the kettle (yes-I fit inside, no-I didn't break it, yes-it was as wonderful as I had hoped it would be).

All of this brings me to another quandary: how do we explain this experience to people? During my interview at Le Moyne, I was asked what I have learned in the past year and a half that better prepares me for graduate school. I don't remember my answer, but it was something half-baked because I didn't allow the question to sink in. I have seen the horrific lengths some people will go to when they can't afford to seek proper medical care. That has caused me anger and outrage. I want to channel that frustration into providing healthcare that is accessible to all, even though I am not sure how to go about it. Maybe if I had taken pictures, I would have been able to make my interviewers understand, because I'm not sure my words would have been adequate.

I have gotten a little off-topic here, but the point of my ramblings has been that I wish I had pictures to show people how powerful an experience working among the poor was because I think my words are insufficient. For all the talk we hear in our churches about blind faith, people still tend to need to see to believe.

PS. I promise a more news-oriented update next time.

PPS. Please read "The Shack" by William Paul Young. I am about halfway through it, and already it is one of the most inspired books I've ever read. We're talking the kind of inspiration that can only come from God. The first few chapters are difficult, but it is well worth the effort.