Bragging rights

I'm going to take advantage of this time and space sitting before me and do a little bragging. I know that lots of people may say this, but when I say it, it is actually true. I have the best friends and family. That ever lived. In all of my struggles and tears and frustrations in the past month, not once did I ever feel completely alone. Whenever I chose to unburden myself, I was more often than not offered a number to call at any time of the day or night by people who actually meant it; people who would have arisen groggy and half-asleep to listen to me whine and complain. It blows my mind, and it leaves me to wonder how often I have been that compassionate and kind when others have really needed me. I can think specifically of a few times when I did not reach out as I should have, and I am definitely regretting them. It's amazing, though, the incredible outpouring of love that I have received. I don't really have friends here yet (aside from my friars!) so I have been spending lots of time on the phone. People have been so generous with their time.

[I just realized that parts of the above paragraph were already published in the "All you need is love" post. I apologize for repeating myself, but maybe that will help express how truly and deeply I have been touched by those who have been so good to me.]

The gospel today is the parable about the day laborers who begin work at different times during the day, but all end up receiving the same wage. The message is that God gives and loves so generously, that merely by existing we are entitled to it. The good, the bad, and the ugly are all loved with the same love. Naturally, this can be infuriating to some of the good because they work hard to be good, but then end up with the same "reward" as the bad and the ugly. The thing is that love is not a reward. It is not something that is deserved; it is something that is given freely to whoever wants it. It has been the same way with the love and generosity I have been receiving lately. I haven't done anything to necessarily deserve all this love, yet I have been blessed with it all the same. We know that it is not the way of the world that the good should always be given good and the bad always be given bad; what would that teach us about compassion and mercy?

I am reading "Left to Tell" by Immaculee Ilibagiza, her story about surviving the Rwandan genocide. My reading it goes perfectly with the gospel. She details her personal struggles with faith throughout the violence of the war, and her initial inability to forgive those who were killing her family and friends. It was only after intense prayer experiences that she was able to view the killers as children of God who had been led astray and therefore, as such, deserving of her love and forgiveness. She is so inspirational-she was completely honest about her faith journey and feelings during the entire ordeal. She hid in a tiny bathroom with 5 other women for 3 months before being liberated. Her faith was constantly under attack, but she managed to maintain it through prayer. I absolutely recommend this book; it was required reading for St. Bonaventure freshmen, and everyone on campus is talking about it. It has been brought up here in reflections in the chapel on numerous occasions. Ilibagiza spoke at Siena's graduation this past year, and will be coming to SBU in November. I can't wait to hear her speak.

I hope you all are well. Thank you so much for your love and support; it has gotten me through a lot, and it continues to strengthen and heal me.