HOPEPRAYLOVE

I can't really say that I am sad to see February go. Not one of us in the San Damiano Spiritual Center came out of it unscathed. While on my recruiting visit to Siena, I received the news that my Uncle Roger had died after a 2-year bout with mesothelioma. Upon my return to Philadelphia, I learned of some awful events that occurred involving our guests. They included a quickly broken up knife fight in the yard and the attempted rape of one of our frequent female guests. During the latter struggle, our guest received a black eye and cuts across her face that required stitches. In her words, "it happens to the best of us." But it shouldn't happen to anyone.

The following weekend, one of our guests lost his wife. He came to the Inn the next day to grieve among the people he considers his family, the staff of the Inn. He had been there with Katelyn for 2 hours when I came to work to relieve her. When he first started talking to me, he seemed normal but upset. As time went on, he started making less and less sense until his ramblings became practically meaningless. I have to admit, it was a little frightening watching someone deteriorate like that. I haven't seen him since, and it has been almost a week. All I can do is pray for him.

The next morning I was coordinating the breakfast shift and handing out clothing vouchers to a cranky crowd when another guest (who, I found later, is known for his drunkenness and rowdiness) decided to make me his target. I tried my best to keep the peace and my cool, but as soon as he left I broke down and cried. All of the sadness and frustration and powerlessness that I had been feeling got the best of me. It had little to do with the belligerent man in the voucher line, and yet everything to do with him. How can people treat others like they are worthless? How can one even consider threatening another with a weapon? How can you punish someone with slashes across the face for trying to fight you off? Why do good people have to die so painfully? Whose fault is all of this and what can we do to change it?

I'm not expecting any answers, and I certainly know that there is far more to life than just the awful things that have been occurring lately. I just wish there was more I could do. Until I figure out what that "more" is, I will hope, pray, and love.