BROWNOUT

Our house is undergoing a voluntary brownout from now until Saturday night. I promise to post details, as well as a nice long update once we return to the world of electricity. Until then, peace be with you!

Notes from the Sickbed

I have been sick for the past week, and so have barely done anything worthy of a blog post. I'm starting to get better, thanks to lots of rest and lots of soup. A lot has happened in my absence, or so I hear. A third instance of graffiti in the bathrooms (they were just painted on the 7th) occurred, one of our regulars was banned for being rude to both a server from Wisconsin and Katelyn, and Outreach refused to pick up one of our guests ever again. Outreach is a service that provides transportation to shelters; this guest is one who has been on the street for many, many years and has been a passenger in the Outreach van many, many times without remaining at any shelter and so he has managed to burn his last bridge.

In other news, our program director is currently residing in our house for day 2 of our site visit. She moves in for a few days, conducts one-on-one meetings with each of us, then facilitates a community meeting at the conclusion of her stay, raising issues she thinks we need to work on, and helping us communicate our own concerns. It's going well, and the only one left to do a one-on-one is Maureen, as Katelyn and I did ours yesterday. Katie, our program director, and I talked about everything that's been going on in my life lately (surprisingly, we had a lot to talk about) and how that's been affecting my ministry and community life. We discussed my relationships with those I live with and those I work with, and how they can be improved. It was a very helpful conversation and she has also set up an opportunity for me to receive spiritual direction (with who else, but an SSJ!), and is going to help me in making some decisions on what to do once this year is up.

That is the long and the short of it for now-I'm continuing to take it easy, and won't work at all today until the meal at 4:30. Tomorrow is the big community meeting, which also coincides with our 5 month anniversary of living in Philadelphia so we are planning to have Chinese food and possibly a cake to celebrate. The marathon training has been put on hold for me, at least, but I plan to start workouts again as soon as I can breathe through my nose. Katelyn is "plowing through" some pain in her knees that will hopefully disappear soon. The good news is that Maureen has decided she wants in and has begun working out herself, so we will be looked back upon as "the year they all trained for a marathon."

Also, I have changed the settings on the blog so that anyone should be able to leave a comment now, not just registered users, so comment away! Please be sure to add your name, though, if it doesn't display automatically.

Many blessings on you as we drift out of the craziness of Christmas and into the peace of the Ordinary Time!

It's all happening.

In November, Fr. Michael, Katelyn, and I spoke at a Mass at a Franciscan parish on Long Beach Island. The parish is always very generous and takes up collections for us, so a contingent is sent every year to explain about the Inn and get people interested in the cause. Katelyn and I each wrote a couple pages about our experiences, so it occurred to me I should publish mine here. A parishioner, Jane, called the Inn in December to let us know she had been inspired by what we said and had gotten some other members of her retirement community interested as well and would like for us to come to a tea to give them more information about how they could get involved. We just returned from the tea with over $600, about 10 winter coats and sweaters, bags full of much-needed toiletries and, best of all, toilet paper (we have been going through a shortage at the Inn). The women at the tea were very interested in our work and the people with whom we work. We encouraged them to come to the Inn to see the good that their donations do, and they invited us to come back in the spring. It was an awesome experience, and it was such an honor to be one of the people who inspired these women to help.

On a more personal note, the girls and I have decided we are going to become athletic superstars. The goal is currently a half-marathon, with potential for a full marathon depending on how the first few weeks of training go. I am up to 2 miles, so I still have a long way to go, but we are very excited about the training!!



Here is the talk I gave in November, in case that should interest you:

Good morning! My name is Emily and I am a member of the Franciscan Volunteer Ministry, which is a yearlong volunteer program that has placed me at the St. Francis Inn, a soup kitchen in northern Philadelphia. I have been working at the Inn and living a few houses away from it since the middle of August. In the past 2 ½ months, I have been blessed to share in the lives of hundreds of my brothers and sisters in the Kensington region of Philadelphia. From celebrating birthdays, new jobs, new apartments, and new relationships to struggling with addictions, car accidents, violence, and the loss of jobs, apartments, and relationships I have seen so much in such a short time.

Until I came to Philadelphia, I had no concept of who “the poor” were. In the tiny town where I grew up, it seemed to me that everyone had a house to go home to at night and food on their dinner table. I had seen people sleeping on park benches and in subway stations when I visited New York City, but I naively assumed that they were the only poor people out there. Now that I have been living in Philadelphia, I have come to find that while I have all the material items once could ever need, I am poor. My friends and family back home-all poor. My fellow volunteers at the Inn are also all poor. You, my brothers and sisters, are also most likely poor in one way or another. I am poor in courage-other people at the Inn step right in to break up a fight or stand up to difficult people-not me. I’m the one standing in the corner with my hands over my eyes waiting for it to be over. But my point is, where I am poor, others are rich. I have the patience to sit and listen to people talk for hours, where others may be unable to. Our guests at the Inn are poor in their material needs, but are rich in humor and humility. There is a regular guest who refuses to tell me his name, but will intelligently discuss philosophy and ethics with anyone who will dare to take him on. Another guest is so rich in love that he greets me every day with a huge smile and says “Good morning sweetie,” and actually means it. On days when it is hard for me to be cheerful, he can always get a smile out of me.

Once I came to understand this concept of rich and poor, it was so much easier for me to see the people I serve meals to daily as my brothers and sisters, all created with the same purpose: to love God and one another. I changed from being one of the crowd who would scoff at Zacchaeus in today’s Gospel reading to one who would rejoice with him that the Lord picked him out of the crowd. Another experience I had recently brought this idea even closer to my heart, but let me explain a little bit about the Inn first. We serve a sit-down meal every day, and large amounts of time and work go into the preparation of each meal. Each day, one person is in charge of coordinating it all, and is called, ironically, the coordinator. The coordinator sees to it that there are beverages and desserts, as well as bread for our guests to take home. The coordinator also assigns jobs and oversees any visiting volunteers, and just generally makes sure things run smoothly. On top of all that, during the meal, guests can speak with the coordinator to ask for toiletries, take home meals, canned goods, diapers, and anything else that they might need.

This past week when I was coordinating the meal for the day, we had finished serving the meal and were beginning to sweep the dining room when Jamie, one of the women who works at the Inn, called me over to talk to the only guest left in the dining room. I was ready to close up and go home for the day and part of me was hoping I could just inform him that we were closing and show him to the door. As I got near him, I saw that he was slumped over in his chair, barely eating. I sat down across from him and asked if there was anything I could do for him. He explained to me that his name was Francisco and when he had been sleeping outside the night before, someone had stolen his shoes. I looked beneath the table and saw that he was wearing a pair of too-small, black, women’s orthopedic shoes, which he told me were all he could find. His socks were so filthy that you could barely tell they were originally white. He asked me if I could get him clean socks and shoes that fit. When I brought him a pair of socks I explained to him that we don’t keep shoes at the Inn, but that I could give him a voucher for shoes from the thrift store. The Inn also staffs a small thrift store called St. Benedict’s, as a means to get clothes to our guests that need them. Three mornings a week we hand out vouchers that entitle the bearer to one free change of clothing from the thrift store and our guests can also request things they need, like jackets, blankets and, most importantly for Francisco, shoes.

I asked Francisco for his ID so that I could write his name correctly on the voucher. He again hung his head. He told me his ID had also been stolen and he had nothing. He very slowly fished around in one of his pockets and produced a hospital bracelet, which indicated he had been discharged just two days prior to the day I met him. I saw something else on the bracelet that made me pause. He was born in 1979, the same year as my oldest brother. I instantly thought of my brother, Andy, and imagined him sitting in front of me-dirty, hungry, depressed. What would I want someone to do for him? The idea of him in the state in which I saw Francisco made me want to cry, but also made me all the more determined to try to help Francisco. I explained to him the services the Inn provides: meals, toiletries, clothing vouchers. I also told him about the free clinic just up the street that allows people to come in and take showers. I helped Francisco pack up the rest of his food, offering him a little more to take with him, which he refused. I don’t know if Francisco used his clothing voucher to get new shoes. I don’t know if he made it to the clinic. I do know, however, that I did everything I could to help him, just as I would have wanted someone to do for my own brother. Because, really, Francisco is my brother, just as you are all my brothers and sisters as well.

Our first reading today speaks of the intense love that God has for all that He has created. It is with this same love that he also designed each one of us in a special way so that our wealth and poverty would be balanced by the wealth and poverty of others. He designed us as many parts of the same body, each made to help the others, which is what we do at the St. Francis Inn. The Inn is a place where people are loved and appreciated for who they are, not what they have or don’t have. We share what we have and make it possible for others to share what they have with those who need it.

Counting my blessings

It is shocking to me that 2008 has begun already. It seems like 2007 lasted mere moments. It could not possibly have lasted long enough to hold a college graduation, a trip to Indiana, a trip to Alaska (followed shortly by a month-long illness), one more (and probably my final) summer at Guggenheim, and the beginning of a life-altering volunteer experience. Add to that one of my favorite semesters of college, soooo many great times with wonderful family and friends, innumerable heart-to-heart conversations, and one of the best Christmases that I can remember. I'm not sure why I am so blessed, but I know I have so much to be thankful for in my life.

Christmas in Kensington brought constant reminders of how loved and cared for I am, with visits from my family, gifts from friends, and festivities with the staff. Our site supervisor, Fr. Michael, surprised us by taking us out last night (New Year's Eve) to see Stomp at a theater downtown. Then tonight, he took us out to a nice dinner and gave us our ridiculous Christmas gifts-I will wait until I can post pictures to fill you in on what they are. But my point is, Christmas here was incredible and I am so glad that I decided to stay and that my family could be with me here.

Today, though, was my wake-up call. It was a very difficult day. I was reassured that all is not well with the world or the people in it. There is a man who is in recovery at the Last Stop across the street who comes to our daily Mass who is schizophrenic. We have recently learned that guys staying there aren't allowed to take drugs of any kind-including prescriptions. The past couple weeks we've watched this man displaying more and more symptoms of his disorder and today during Mass I frequesntly caught him staring at me. While I worked in the yard, I saw him standing in the middle of the street yelling obscenities at nothing. He came into the yard briefly, stared at me angrily for a few minutes then left. His instability is quickly becoming a concern for the team. Another man who obviously suffers from some type of mental problem came into the yard today to take off his shoes, play with his feet, and yell at the sky. The coordinator brought him a bag of food and asked him to move, but he hung around the gate for the rest of the meal, harrassing another guest who isn't allowed into the yard because he is also mentally unstable. The 2 almost came to blows at one point, but luckily I was able to defuse the situation. The first man, however, continued to yell for the next couple hours out in the street and I can still hear him in my head. His cries sounded like a mixture of pain and anger and were awful to listen to.

Another guest who I have described before, Rocky, I have recently learned probably suffers abuse, likely sexual, and at the hands of other men. I saw him today for the first time since I was told that and almost cried. He is so kind to us at the Inn, always helpful and loving; it breaks my heart that he undergoes that and I just have no idea how to help. He said a few things to me today that lead me to believe that it could be true. It makes me wonder what else our guests go through that we would have no idea about. Obviously, I don't know even close to everything about any of our guests, but knowing that there is probably so much more to them than what I pick up on by seeing them for a couple hours everyday worries me. Which one of our guests is turning tricks or being abused tonight? Which one is getting in a fight? Which one is passing out helpless on the sidewalk after getting way too high? It is awful to know that these things are probably all happening, if not to our guests, then to someone else right this second. The only thing we can do to show our love and concern is pray for them and welcome them back tomorrow with kind words and open arms.