Today I worked at the Women's Center (the Inn runs a day center for women recovering from or struggling with their addictions to drugs and alcohol, it also serves as a residence for 3 women at a time who are attending rehab programs). It can be a very intense day, although this one was not too emotionally draining. However, I did talk to a woman who is in her mid-50s and is caring for her 5 year old grandson while his mother is serving a jail sentence. She had been clean for 9 years, that is, until October 5th of this year when she took up her crack pipe one more time. She is back at square one now, earning back her first 60 days clean. She couldn't explain to me why she did it and she was trying not to let herself get depressed about it, because that would only make it harder to stay clean.
What amazes me is that when you sit and talk with these women, eat lunch with them and watch Maury with them (that was my afternoon), they are shockingly normal. I had always had this image of the typical druggie in my head-someone, generally male-although I don't know why, hardened by life on the streets. But these women, when they are clean, are no different from me. They are funny and silly and loving. They love to go shoe shopping. They love arts and crafts. They don't like it when someone is disrespectful towards them.
I always try to imagine myself in the situations they describe themselves facing: physical and sexual abuse from men, sometimes male family members; toxic relationships with friends; depression. Would I have been able to say no if offered something that would help the pain go away? Would I have been able to stop the downward spiral my life would take after that first hit?
Thursday, November 29, 2007
Tuesday, November 27, 2007
The Usual Suspects...literally.
I have recently been informed that my readership has grown, which is wonderful news! I would like to repeat my urging to you that if you know of someone who might be interested, feel free to pass on this link. My experiences here are practically worthless if not shared with others. I also welcome any questions or comments you may have and I believe my e-mail address is displayed on this page.
The post-Thanksgiving letdown has been very hard on the people of Kensington. On Sunday, about 460 people were served at the meal. Before that, I had never seen numbers higher than 410. I am hoping it is because all people had in their homes to eat was turkey and they were getting sick of it, but I fear that is not the real reason.
A blessing in the form of excessive donations of meat from the company who gives us weekly leftovers allowed us to hand out frozen meat during the meal yesterday. Of course, yours truly was stationed with the 168 packages of corned beef, roast beef, and uncooked prime rib explaining to people that the corned beef was not, in fact, ham and that the prime rib must be cooked before consumption and you are only allowed to take one frozen meat chunk. Some guests were puzzled, some excited, some wishing they could have cakes instead.
As I start to get to know the guests better, I thought it might be interesting to describe some of them to you so that you might get to know them, too. They amaze me every single day-they have so many struggles and challenges to face. It is amazing that some of them are even alive. I have changed their names, not because I think they would mind me writing about them, but to protect their anonymity.
Chuckie is a frequent resident of the loading dock of the warehouse next door to our house. He has been living on the street for more years than you could count on your fingers and toes. He is roughly 50 years old, and daily tries to sneak into the senior citizens' line at the meal. He usually has a vacant expression on his face, resembling a lost puppy. There is a rumor that he may have Alzheimer's, but won't see a doctor or take care of himself in any way. The team has tried countless times to check him into a shelter, sometimes at his own request, but he hardly ever stays the night. He will nearly always be seen the next morning, sitting at the foot of the steps up to the Inn, bidding everyone a good morning. A couple weeks ago, he was in our bathroom for an excessive amount of time and when I went to check on him he explained to me that he had gotten very sick and needed to wash his clothes. I found him a clean change of clothes and he begged me to call a shelter for him. Knowing his history and having to be somewhere else myself, I was reluctant to help but knew I wouldn't be able to clear my conscience if I didn't. I called a couple of shelters, but no one would pick him up (this is not a service most shelters typically provide, but I thought I would give it a shot). After calling my site supervisor for advice, Chuckie and I decided he should probably just go to the hospital where there would be medical attention for his illness and a social worker to find him a place for the night. The next morning on the way to Mass, I saw him standing on the corner of Kensington holding a new blanket.
Clyde & Jolene are a young couple who just recently appeared at the Inn in the last couple months. I haven't seen them lately, so I am hoping they had a change of fortune. Katelyn spent a lot of time talking to them and related their story to me. They were married about 8 months ago, both with jobs and sharing an apartment. They went to Las Vegas on their honeymoon, where they tried hard drugs for the first time. They returned to Philly, burned through their money and ended up in an abandoned house nearby. They weren't born into this lifestyle as many of our guests were, they came to it as a result of their own decisions. The last we knew Jolene was trying to get into a rehab program, but couldn't because she didn't have any identification.
Rocky is one of the most recognizable guests at the Inn. He will talk to anyone (for hours if you let him) and usually does. He is almost like our mascot. He used to be a truck driver, or something in a similar vein, but was in an accident which caused some damage to his brain. He also suffers from a seizure disorder, which causes him a lot of stress. He is always cheerful and has a heart of gold (as long as you don't insult his mother). He does whatever he can to help out at the Inn, arriving near the beginning of the meal, and staying as long as he is allowed after everyone else has gone. He claims he is "security" and without him none of us would be safe. The idea, though, of Rocky standing up to some of the guys who come through our gate is laughable. If you met him, you'd understand why. He's not exactly an intimidating character. He calls everyone Brother and Sister So-and-so and my site supervisor is called his father because Rocky (like all of us) looks up to him so much.
There's just a brief sampling of stories of our guests. I will try to write about some more next chance I get. Have a wonderful day!
The post-Thanksgiving letdown has been very hard on the people of Kensington. On Sunday, about 460 people were served at the meal. Before that, I had never seen numbers higher than 410. I am hoping it is because all people had in their homes to eat was turkey and they were getting sick of it, but I fear that is not the real reason.
A blessing in the form of excessive donations of meat from the company who gives us weekly leftovers allowed us to hand out frozen meat during the meal yesterday. Of course, yours truly was stationed with the 168 packages of corned beef, roast beef, and uncooked prime rib explaining to people that the corned beef was not, in fact, ham and that the prime rib must be cooked before consumption and you are only allowed to take one frozen meat chunk. Some guests were puzzled, some excited, some wishing they could have cakes instead.
As I start to get to know the guests better, I thought it might be interesting to describe some of them to you so that you might get to know them, too. They amaze me every single day-they have so many struggles and challenges to face. It is amazing that some of them are even alive. I have changed their names, not because I think they would mind me writing about them, but to protect their anonymity.
Chuckie is a frequent resident of the loading dock of the warehouse next door to our house. He has been living on the street for more years than you could count on your fingers and toes. He is roughly 50 years old, and daily tries to sneak into the senior citizens' line at the meal. He usually has a vacant expression on his face, resembling a lost puppy. There is a rumor that he may have Alzheimer's, but won't see a doctor or take care of himself in any way. The team has tried countless times to check him into a shelter, sometimes at his own request, but he hardly ever stays the night. He will nearly always be seen the next morning, sitting at the foot of the steps up to the Inn, bidding everyone a good morning. A couple weeks ago, he was in our bathroom for an excessive amount of time and when I went to check on him he explained to me that he had gotten very sick and needed to wash his clothes. I found him a clean change of clothes and he begged me to call a shelter for him. Knowing his history and having to be somewhere else myself, I was reluctant to help but knew I wouldn't be able to clear my conscience if I didn't. I called a couple of shelters, but no one would pick him up (this is not a service most shelters typically provide, but I thought I would give it a shot). After calling my site supervisor for advice, Chuckie and I decided he should probably just go to the hospital where there would be medical attention for his illness and a social worker to find him a place for the night. The next morning on the way to Mass, I saw him standing on the corner of Kensington holding a new blanket.
Clyde & Jolene are a young couple who just recently appeared at the Inn in the last couple months. I haven't seen them lately, so I am hoping they had a change of fortune. Katelyn spent a lot of time talking to them and related their story to me. They were married about 8 months ago, both with jobs and sharing an apartment. They went to Las Vegas on their honeymoon, where they tried hard drugs for the first time. They returned to Philly, burned through their money and ended up in an abandoned house nearby. They weren't born into this lifestyle as many of our guests were, they came to it as a result of their own decisions. The last we knew Jolene was trying to get into a rehab program, but couldn't because she didn't have any identification.
Rocky is one of the most recognizable guests at the Inn. He will talk to anyone (for hours if you let him) and usually does. He is almost like our mascot. He used to be a truck driver, or something in a similar vein, but was in an accident which caused some damage to his brain. He also suffers from a seizure disorder, which causes him a lot of stress. He is always cheerful and has a heart of gold (as long as you don't insult his mother). He does whatever he can to help out at the Inn, arriving near the beginning of the meal, and staying as long as he is allowed after everyone else has gone. He claims he is "security" and without him none of us would be safe. The idea, though, of Rocky standing up to some of the guys who come through our gate is laughable. If you met him, you'd understand why. He's not exactly an intimidating character. He calls everyone Brother and Sister So-and-so and my site supervisor is called his father because Rocky (like all of us) looks up to him so much.
There's just a brief sampling of stories of our guests. I will try to write about some more next chance I get. Have a wonderful day!
Thursday, November 22, 2007
Thanks be to God!
Happy Thanksgiving to all, and I hope you all had a good night.
I feel like I've heard it all about Thanksgiving this year-that we shouldn't celebrate it because we displaced the Native Americans, that we should because it's a wonderful day to express our gratitude to others and to God for our many blessings, that it's just another example of American overindulgence. Now, I can understand these various points of view, and I think we can agree that there's an element of truth to all of them; but for me, any excuse to gather with people I love and share a meal with them is a good one. Especially in celebration of our blessings! This is, after all, the core of what the Eucharist is for Catholics, and so this secular holiday celebrates it with turkey instead of the body of Christ. Granted, we should have this same spirit of gratitude every day, but I think there is something to be learned from this holiday.
Stepping off of my soapbox, I will share with you what occurred at the Inn for Thanksgiving. We began the day with Mass, as always, but it was a special one that drew the connection for me between Thanksgiving and Eucharist (you know how you hear the same thing your entire life, but it takes someone else saying it at a certain time to make you really understand?). We served an early meal (holiday meals are 11:30-1), partly catered by Boston Market, and the rest made by a team headed by the saintly Sr. Jude. I had been nervous since last night, because I was on the schedule as the coordinator and had, obviously, never experienced a Thanksgiving dinner at the Inn. Earlier in the week, we had given away over 100 turkeys and dinner fixings to various families from among our guests. I joked with people last week that everyone who showed up to volunteer or donate anything ended all their conversations by saying "Oh, and here's a (few) turkey(s)." We got baskets from local schools, a policemen's organization, and various other groups from around Philadelphia. It was so incredible the way they all banded together to make it possible for others to celebrate. But here is where the soapbox re-enters the picture: wouldn't it be great if this could happen year-round? It is awesome that people are so mindful of the poor during the holiday season BUT what if we skipped Thanksgiving one year and spread out the support through the whole year? And what if, instead of turkeys in November, we got donations of deodorant and good razors in July, and laundry detergent in April and blankets in October? Don't get me wrong, I still love and believe in Thanksgiving and am so grateful for all the help and donations, but there still exists the struggle to help provide better for our brothers and sisters in need.
We had a wonderful group of volunteers today-a few regulars and a few who only come on Thanksgiving. There's also a group of people here that I graduated with in May who are now going to medical school. They arrived on Monday and return tomorrow, but it's been so great to have them here-it has felt like a little bit of home in Kensington. We served 357 people, which is equivalent to a normal day. There was turkey, stuffing, yams, peas, cranberry sauce, and gravy. Being there this morning was almost like celebrating with family-the people we've been seeing day in and day out for 3 months now were the same ones we spent our holiday with; if that doesn't make us family, I don't know what does.
At about 5:30 this evening, the staff gathered to share a turkey dinner, which was fabulous. We relaxed and enjoyed an excellent meal and each others' company. It was so satisfying to know we had been able to feed others earlier in the day and were now able to nourish ourselves. It wasn't exactly home, but it was the next best thing. I must confess that homesickness did hit a little today, especially remembering many of the 22 I have been fortunate to spend with my parents and almost as many with my brothers. The day was always a wonderful one and I really appreciate all the time we spent together, making it more about the family than the outside world. And, let's face it, Mom's cooking reigns supreme.
I truly hope you all had a wonderful holiday, and that you keep your joyful and grateful spirit always. I was humbled when a man who sleeps on our street said to me this morning "Of course it's going to be a great day-I'm alive and I woke up to a nice breeze and a beautiful day." I only hope that I can be as appreciative of my blessings someday.
I feel like I've heard it all about Thanksgiving this year-that we shouldn't celebrate it because we displaced the Native Americans, that we should because it's a wonderful day to express our gratitude to others and to God for our many blessings, that it's just another example of American overindulgence. Now, I can understand these various points of view, and I think we can agree that there's an element of truth to all of them; but for me, any excuse to gather with people I love and share a meal with them is a good one. Especially in celebration of our blessings! This is, after all, the core of what the Eucharist is for Catholics, and so this secular holiday celebrates it with turkey instead of the body of Christ. Granted, we should have this same spirit of gratitude every day, but I think there is something to be learned from this holiday.
Stepping off of my soapbox, I will share with you what occurred at the Inn for Thanksgiving. We began the day with Mass, as always, but it was a special one that drew the connection for me between Thanksgiving and Eucharist (you know how you hear the same thing your entire life, but it takes someone else saying it at a certain time to make you really understand?). We served an early meal (holiday meals are 11:30-1), partly catered by Boston Market, and the rest made by a team headed by the saintly Sr. Jude. I had been nervous since last night, because I was on the schedule as the coordinator and had, obviously, never experienced a Thanksgiving dinner at the Inn. Earlier in the week, we had given away over 100 turkeys and dinner fixings to various families from among our guests. I joked with people last week that everyone who showed up to volunteer or donate anything ended all their conversations by saying "Oh, and here's a (few) turkey(s)." We got baskets from local schools, a policemen's organization, and various other groups from around Philadelphia. It was so incredible the way they all banded together to make it possible for others to celebrate. But here is where the soapbox re-enters the picture: wouldn't it be great if this could happen year-round? It is awesome that people are so mindful of the poor during the holiday season BUT what if we skipped Thanksgiving one year and spread out the support through the whole year? And what if, instead of turkeys in November, we got donations of deodorant and good razors in July, and laundry detergent in April and blankets in October? Don't get me wrong, I still love and believe in Thanksgiving and am so grateful for all the help and donations, but there still exists the struggle to help provide better for our brothers and sisters in need.
We had a wonderful group of volunteers today-a few regulars and a few who only come on Thanksgiving. There's also a group of people here that I graduated with in May who are now going to medical school. They arrived on Monday and return tomorrow, but it's been so great to have them here-it has felt like a little bit of home in Kensington. We served 357 people, which is equivalent to a normal day. There was turkey, stuffing, yams, peas, cranberry sauce, and gravy. Being there this morning was almost like celebrating with family-the people we've been seeing day in and day out for 3 months now were the same ones we spent our holiday with; if that doesn't make us family, I don't know what does.
At about 5:30 this evening, the staff gathered to share a turkey dinner, which was fabulous. We relaxed and enjoyed an excellent meal and each others' company. It was so satisfying to know we had been able to feed others earlier in the day and were now able to nourish ourselves. It wasn't exactly home, but it was the next best thing. I must confess that homesickness did hit a little today, especially remembering many of the 22 I have been fortunate to spend with my parents and almost as many with my brothers. The day was always a wonderful one and I really appreciate all the time we spent together, making it more about the family than the outside world. And, let's face it, Mom's cooking reigns supreme.
I truly hope you all had a wonderful holiday, and that you keep your joyful and grateful spirit always. I was humbled when a man who sleeps on our street said to me this morning "Of course it's going to be a great day-I'm alive and I woke up to a nice breeze and a beautiful day." I only hope that I can be as appreciative of my blessings someday.
Saturday, November 10, 2007
The sound and the fury
A new month has begun, so time for a new post. I feel like a broken record saying this but things have been so busy, I just haven't had the time to update you! The FVMs spent the past week on retreat at Mt. Irenaeus. I had no idea how ready I was for a break from Kensington. What struck me most of all while being away in the middle of the woods and at the top of a mountain was the SILENCE. I shared a cabin with one of the Camden FVMs and when we woke up in the morning to the sound of the stove that heated our cabin, I thought it was quiet. Then, I stepped out the door into the snow to absolute and total silence and realized how unbelievably chaotic and loud Kensington is. Now that I am back, the sounds of Kensington are deafening. I am sure they will fade into background noise as they did before, but for now my ears persistently ring with the noise of the el, voices on the street, plates and cups banging against the tables, the phone and doorbell constantly ringing, cars zooming past the Inn, the waterfall of the dishwasher, and people talking in my ear. It's amazing how each of the sounds stand out in the midst of the general roar.
The retreat was wonderful-the friars we stayed with were so kind and welcoming. We had such peaceful days, relaxing together and talking about what makes each one of us unique based on the results of our Myers-Briggs anaylses. It was so much fun being able to talk so openly together and share our experiences thus far. The woman who presented the information to us was probably the sweetest woman in the world, rivaling Sister Jude. She was so kind and genuinely appreciated the time she spent with us.
Now we are back to the grind at the Inn and, in fact, I coordinated the first day we returned to work. It was overwhelming, and not knowing what had been happening during the past week was very difficult. But, 267 people were fed, with only few problems so I consider the day a success.
Today I worked in the office, which I have decided I really enjoy. It gets hectic at times but you really get to be involved in people's lives, hearing their phone conversations and stories, seeing what they receive in the mail, and being the source they seek for information about services. I was able to use my gifts today to write out a birthday card for a woman who can't read. She is a regular and her daughter's birthday is tomorrow. I loved being able to help her do something so simple but so important. When she was explaining to me what she wanted me to do, the man who was talking on the phone piped up and said "Oh that's ok sister, I can't read or write either." Later in the day, another man came to me asking me to fill out some paperwork for him because he also was unable to read or write. It must be such an incredible challenge and handicap at times.
The weather is getting colder and more and more people are asking about blankets. We distribute blankets at the Inn starting usually after Thanksgiving (although an extremely generous donation that came in today may enable us to start earlier than that), making sure that people who need them get them. We record the names of those who receive them to ensure that each person only gets one a month, so that more people are able to receive them. We received a donation today from a church's coat drive: at least 150 coats and jackets of all sizes and styles. While these will certainly not last us through the winter, it is a very good start.
Happy November everyone! I hope you are staying warm wherever you might be!!
The retreat was wonderful-the friars we stayed with were so kind and welcoming. We had such peaceful days, relaxing together and talking about what makes each one of us unique based on the results of our Myers-Briggs anaylses. It was so much fun being able to talk so openly together and share our experiences thus far. The woman who presented the information to us was probably the sweetest woman in the world, rivaling Sister Jude. She was so kind and genuinely appreciated the time she spent with us.
Now we are back to the grind at the Inn and, in fact, I coordinated the first day we returned to work. It was overwhelming, and not knowing what had been happening during the past week was very difficult. But, 267 people were fed, with only few problems so I consider the day a success.
Today I worked in the office, which I have decided I really enjoy. It gets hectic at times but you really get to be involved in people's lives, hearing their phone conversations and stories, seeing what they receive in the mail, and being the source they seek for information about services. I was able to use my gifts today to write out a birthday card for a woman who can't read. She is a regular and her daughter's birthday is tomorrow. I loved being able to help her do something so simple but so important. When she was explaining to me what she wanted me to do, the man who was talking on the phone piped up and said "Oh that's ok sister, I can't read or write either." Later in the day, another man came to me asking me to fill out some paperwork for him because he also was unable to read or write. It must be such an incredible challenge and handicap at times.
The weather is getting colder and more and more people are asking about blankets. We distribute blankets at the Inn starting usually after Thanksgiving (although an extremely generous donation that came in today may enable us to start earlier than that), making sure that people who need them get them. We record the names of those who receive them to ensure that each person only gets one a month, so that more people are able to receive them. We received a donation today from a church's coat drive: at least 150 coats and jackets of all sizes and styles. While these will certainly not last us through the winter, it is a very good start.
Happy November everyone! I hope you are staying warm wherever you might be!!
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