Where am I supposed to buy underwear?! and other concerns of small-town living

Last night, while out to a lovely dinner in Olean, my parents and I decided we would head to Buffalo the next day (today) to go shopping for a few things I mentioned that I could use. When we returned to the Mountain and I had gone up to my room for the night, I googled the exact drive time from here to Buffalo and found it to be 1 HOUR AND 53 MINUTES. Not really enough to make a trip worth it, as we couldn't leave until 12 and I had to be back for a 5:30 meeting on campus. When I told my mom this morning, she was appalled and insisted that there had to be SOMETHING nearby (there is Wal-Mart, Target and a semi-decent Old Navy in Olean). Well we looked for Macy's, Target, Kohls, and found nothing within a reasonable distance. If I didn't think I was isolated before, I know it now. Not that these things are necessarily all that fulfilling to me, but I would like to be able to buy some decent underwear.

While reflecting on all of this on the way home from campus this evening, I realized that the only place I really go is campus, and occasionally Tops. I see a lot of people, and I haven't really had the desire to go anyplace else except in cases where I could see certain people I miss. Lately, though, I have been getting antsy. I can't explain it really, but the feeling comes as a result of not really feeling like myself. Now that I am getting over the discomfort of my various transitions, I'm starting to want to stretch my wings a little and do something life-affirming. The last time I acted on my antsy-ness, Mo and Katelyn joined me in painting a room in our house starting at 8 pm one fateful Sunday night. I don't know where it's going to lead me this time, but I feel an adventure coming on. Maybe another piercing...(just kidding Mom and Dad!)

So, there's no place to buy underwear, the nearest city is about 2 hours away, and I am surrounded by pro-gun propaganda. The other day I saw a bumper sticker with a picture of a handgun that read, "I'd rather have one and not need it than need one and not have it." I was struck by the use of the word "need," and can't get the wording out of my head. I cannot think of a single situation in my life in which I have NEEDED a gun. Perhaps I haven't lived long enough, and maybe things are rougher than I thought out in the country, but I find it hard to understand the need one would have for such a weapon.

I'm sure the ranting about small town life will continue at a later date, but for now I am out of rants. I suppose I should thank God that these are the only problems with where I'm living and then shut my mouth. So thanks, God, and good night!

So last night we had a boys' floor up to the Mountain for an evening away. During the homily, the question was posed: "What is the greatest thing in your life right now?" There were answers of friends, family, God, the ability to help people. I was thinking and thinking and a lot came up, but it seemed like the best thing would come to me with crashing cymbals and maybe even a parade (in my head). Well no parade came, but an idea did. I think, right now, that the unknown is the best thing in my life. I have submitted my applications to PA school, and have no idea where that will take me. Nothing but possibilities await me after the first week in June. And scary as that is, it is also very exciting. Something I try to always think to myself before making a decision is "You'll never be more free than you are right now." As I get older, I know I will likely get tied down to more and more things and I really want to appreciate freedom and possibility as much as I can.

My parents are coming down tomorrow (yay!) and I am so excited to see them. Besides Renee's and Johnnycakes' visit, this is the first time two of my worlds have collided at the Mountain, and at least those worlds are related. Unfortunately, 3 of the friars are gone for the weekend, so the parents won't get the full effect, but they will get enough for now. I feel like so much has happened since I last saw them in the beginning of September-hours have been spent on the phone with them since then, and there have been tears and celebrations-it seems like a year instead of a month and a half. So you can imagine how psyched I am!

It has been a good, but complicated, day. Students at SBU are really starting to get comfortable around me, and have started coming to me with their problems. Sometimes they are bigger than I am able to handle. Please say a prayer for college students everywhere, as a lot is expected of them and sometimes it can feel overwhelming. I love the students I am working with, and love that they trust me. It feels good to be settled and comfortable here. I was worried for a while that it wouldn't happen, but now I realize I just wasn't being patient enough with myself; transitions are hard and adjustment takes time. Sometimes the urge to cut and run is just a fleeting feeling.